Writing on the psychology of life after cancer
A weekly piece on what actually happens after treatment ends, written by a senior clinical psychologist working in psycho-oncology. Free to read here. The conversation about each one happens inside the community.
Four things this keeps coming back to
Most of what happens after treatment sits under one of these. Each piece links to the others in its group.
Fear and recurrence
Scan anxiety, monitoring, the checking, the Googling, and why reassurance never holds for long.
4 piecesIdentity and adjustment
Feeling changed, feeling flat, not fitting the person you were, and everyone else deciding this is over.
1 pieceThe body after treatment
Fatigue, cognitive fog, physical recovery, and learning to interpret a body you no longer entirely trust.
1 pieceOther people
Family, work, friendships that faded, and the specific exhaustion of explaining yourself to people who mean well.
4 piecesEverything, most recent first
A new piece goes up each Friday, so this fills out from here.
Why is Christmas so exhausting after cancer?
Christmas after cancer often runs on a plan made years ago for someone with more in the tank, and the cost arrives in pieces nobody adds up. How to tell the load from something that needs checking, and what helps.
Why do I say I'm fine after cancer when people ask how I am?
The short answer fits the moment, or protects someone you love. The long one needs time, privacy and the right listener. Why that gap can be lonely, why you do not owe anyone the long answer, and when it is worth telling someone.
Why can't I feel myself recovering after cancer?
Slow change is hard to see when today is compared with yesterday, and recovery often shows up in what you can do before it shows up in how you feel. Where to look, why pacing matters, and what it means if you are not going back to how you were.
What do I do when the fear of cancer coming back hits?
The first jolt of fear is automatic and cannot be argued with, because what it is reacting to is real. Why the hour after it is the part that can change, and what usually fills that hour.
Am I making my fear of cancer coming back worse without realising?
The things that keep the fear loud are usually the sensible ones: checking, avoiding reminders, pushing thoughts away, staying busy. Why getting rid of uncertainty quickly makes the fear easier to set off.
Why does reassurance stop working after cancer?
A clear scan, a doctor saying it looks fine, a spot that has not changed: the relief is real, and it is exactly what teaches the brain to need the next check sooner. Why reassurance stops sticking, and when it is worth getting help.
How do I know if my fear of cancer coming back is normal?
Some fear of it coming back is a normal response to something genuinely dangerous. What decides what helps is how intense it is, from a low background level to clinical fear of recurrence, and why the response that settles one level can make another worse.
Why am I so irritable since cancer treatment?
A short temper after treatment is more often a question about what is left than about who you have become. The causes worth checking first, including the physical ones, and how to tell an accurate re-ranking from having nothing left at all.
The list of things you stopped caring about after cancer
Things that used to matter quietly stop during treatment, and afterwards they do not go back on. Why the ranking holds, why it can read as flat rather than freeing, and how to tell that apart from something worth getting looked at.
Why does everyone think I should be fine now?
Support tends to contract at exactly the point the psychological work after treatment begins. Why that happens, and what actually helps.
The Weekly Check-in is a different thing
Not these pieces sent out by email. The Weekly Check-in is its own weekly email from Michelle, written for the inbox rather than for the site, and it is free. Plenty of people read both.
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Every one of these gets talked about inside the community
People say what the piece brought up for them, Michelle answers, and it is usually where the useful part is. Joining is free, and the two video series and the live sessions are in there too.